Thursday, 24 June 2010

Evile Infecting Nations 2010 tour. Aarau.

Opening the curtain in my bunk, I get blinded by the bright white light to the point of getting a migraine, Snow! Fuck yeah! Have to stay in bed for half hour with my eyes shut and chill to get rid of the distortions going across my eyes but then I’m up asap and changed, barrelling off the bus with a smoke in my mouth to lob some snowballs around. I nearly get Arie from the Fading in the face, score!

The venue today, here in beautiful Aarau, Switzerland is out of this world outstanding. Yet again, we are getting treated like royalty ‘cause Europe does it better. Wicked dressing room has a huge room attached with bunk beds in it and everything! There’s a fucking Mac there for us to use, we pretty much all got laptops but still, how thoughtful. Everything we might need or want, at our fingertips. And the staff? So fucking helpful and pleasant. Damn we have got a lot to be learning from these Euros I tell you. Hospitality reigns supreme.

I put ‘Bad News’ on play on my laptop and we all have some laughs while setting up our all our personal shit. I send emails, do spreadsheet work, upload photo’s, answer emails, change currencies with the venue from Euros to Swiss Francs, write out new price stickers and then fuck off in to the venue to set up the merch stand. Get changed, go grab dinner in the canteen, cooked and laid on for all the bands and staff! Right!? Bish bash bosh all over the shop.

The doors are open and the first band on is local, and not my cup of tea at all. Might go as far as saying they were shit? One of them was wearing a fitted football shirt? Call me shallow but this isn’t band rehearsal love, your getting to open for some pretty awesome bands, make an effort why don’t you. The lighting man is way too trigger happy on the ol’ buttons, which is a shame because he had potential to be great. I’m trying to get used to the new money by the time the Fading have finished and come to hang with me. We are selling well, all three bands and all is good in the land of us.

I’m still not bored of watching The Fading, they rule, they truly do. The strangest thing happened during their set though, check this. The sound woman, who looks like a Librarian, walks on stage in the middle of a song after Ilia points to monitor problems. She’s there, standing behind him trying to listen like there isn’t a fucking metal show going on! It was so surreal I laughed myself stupid. She was up there for ages, Ilia and the rest of the band were all like what the fuck with their faces, comedy value full throttle. I have never in my life seen a sound person do that.

The audience are proper stiff, and the stage is really wide, so Ilia is all over it. By the time they finished the crowd is chanting for more. Weird that, when they didn’t fucking move during the set. Guess they were just taking it all in. I am blind by this point from the strobe lights, nice one lighting man. Dick.

By the time I come back up from hanging wet laundry out, Warbringer have got themselves a crowd surfer! Good job! There is actually not enough people for crowd surfing but if your hearts in it and your 5 friends are willing, you away. And leave it to Kevill to get a circle pit going. He is off the stage and down on the floor moshing with the crowd and by the last song there is an almighty circle pit going fast and strong, fuck, Warbringer is awesome. The room are chanting for more so they do a one-song encore, Adam drops a heavy guitar solo and Kevill admits that he is wasted and pours a beer over his head.

Down on the stand, Kevill forgets himself and flashes my boob. See I have on a lace leotard under one of the bands T-shirt with the arms cut off really low, so you can see some side cleavage. For some bizarre reason Kevill thinks it’s O.K to pull my t-shirt to the side. No one saw; thank god, and Kevill got bitch slapped. He apologises and it’s all over. He really is pissed bless him, the next thing out of his mouth was “It’s party night….are you ready to watch the end of The Last Crusade?!” Ermm…yeah, no I’m gonna turn that one down and maybe self harm up the front of the bus instead love. These two boys ask to have their photo taken with me, maybe someone did see the boob flash? And Evile starts their set.

There is a circle pit on the first song, Infected Nations! You can’t fucking hear Matt though ‘cause soppy tart sound woman is still fucking around with god knows what. They get a stage invasion and halfway through the set, there is still a circle pit. A fucking killer set, which I spent a lot of doing a stock, check of what Evile merch I have on the stall. Which was fucking redundant because I was so busy enjoying Evile that I forgot to update it when I sold stuff. What an idiot.

There is no way on Gods green earth that our sopping wet laundry is going to be dry by bus call, bring on the horrible pissy dried too slow smell, Yay!. I have no time for a shower either so another day of wet wipe washing is upon me. Touring really is not for the faint hearted or picky. It’s basically festival living for six weeks. Some guy keeps coming back to the stand to chat me up, says I remind him of Pandora? Don’t know what the fuck he is on about, but I smile sweetly and decline his generous offer to stay and live with him in Switzerland. Why are they never hot or the ones you fancy?

I get a total strop on now because it’s quick load out time to meet an early bus call. I am getting rush rush rushed and not enjoying it one bit. I am not packing up the fucking stand when I’m still selling, that’s just not gonna happen. By the time I get to the bus I am mega wound up over the nights happenings. I’m still bummed out over Kevill flashing me, shows a complete lack of respect when I thought I fit in as one of the boys and I had to rush packing up which means it’ll be a total chore unpacking tomorrow.

I feel really fucking ill, so watch Ghostbusters with a bunch of the guys and have some Vodka and Jager to relax, but by the end of Ghostbusters, I’m in my bunk with a bin next to me feeling like I might vom’ any minute. Joy. I’m not even drunk.

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