Thursday, 24 June 2010

evile Infecting Nations 2010 tour. Part 5.

The stillness of the bus wakes me, the stillness and the quiet. There is some distant thumping around, some one down the back of the bus is stumbling out blearily trying to assert themselves. I need a smoke so bad right now and wish for the umpteenth time that I don’t have to trek out in to the cold lunch time air to have one.

Biting the bullet, I chuck some layers on, roll a smoke and practically fall out the bus looking like some skag head fiend desperate for their next fix. As I light up my ciggie, I look up and from under my hood see half a dozen young boys dressed in their Evile t-shirts looking over at me with their mouths hanging open in pure shock horror. Oh fuck, just ruined so many school boy fantasies, sorry, my bad.

It is fucking odd having fans waiting around before the bus has even pulled up though that’s for sure. Going for some dinner after sound check leads to kids stopping which ever band member you’re with for photo’s and autographs and excited banter on their part met with confusion on the bands part. It’s pretty surreal but nostalgic at the same time. I used to turn up to gigs early and stay late, hanging around in the vain hope that you will get to meet the band and some of that rockness will rub off on you.

In Manchester we had these kids outback who were there when we got up playing their music out of a ghetto blaster, drinking beers and totally not interfering in any way. Just chilling, making a day of it. Fucking ruled, that’s some passion right there.

Back in side the bus I sit down for the next instalment of childhood boydom with Joel and Adam and watch back to the future 2. What the fuck, that film is off the chart confusing! We are literally in hysterics at the ridiculous time travelling misadventures of Doc Brown and Marty. Just watching these two is exhausting, remember they still haven’t stopped since the beginning of the first film. Jeez. I bosh down a Burger king meal before load in ‘cause I’m so hungry I don’t think I can actually get load in done without eating some sort of shit in me.

Tonight we will find ourselves at Newcastle O2 Academy. That means we get some tasty dressing rooms with showers thank fuck. I have the best shower in the world ever and get some spray tan time down, slut it up and get up to where my little merch stand will be based this fine Geordie eve. Oh fucking grand, I’m in a hallway. Joy. Fun times ahead.

Seriously though, one of the most boring times of my life right there. And I’m tired, so fucking tired. The two just go hand in hand skipping throughout my sub-consciousness. Tired and bored, bored and tired. The funniest thing that happened to me that night was this…..Halfway through Evile’s set, some little kid came tearing out of the main stage area, stopped just short of my stand, bent over and puked his little thrash guts up three times in a row all over the Academy flooring. Ha!

Awww bless the little fucker, I did let him know that if he swung round there was actually a bin behind him but I think he was pretty much empty by then. Ah well thought was there, unfortunately it wasn’t too useful ‘cause it didn’t come out my mouth till I had stopped laughing.

Back to the dressing room though ‘cause some important shit went down, a discovery was made. Phantom Menace has the most amazing rogue reviewer covering the whole shit shebang from start to finish, picked apart in seven genius parts. Oh how we laughed. I don’t know why I’m being sarcastic, we laughed are fucking arses off, I watched it again later with some of the Warbringer boys and laughed so hard all over again that nearly wee’d my pants. I believe at this point, everyone on the bus has seen it and enjoyed it to the point of tears. Look it up.

Yeah so Newcastle was piss boring for me, I was stuck in a hallway, it was all a bit corporate, but on the upside I had a lovely shower and fake tan time and spent the night safe in the knowledge that the next day would be a day off in Manchester Thank fucking god, I am so God damn tired.

The routine is as follows, as it has been every night, pack up, load out and hit the booze. Tonight though is different, I genuinely am too fucking tired. I traipse after the other usual losers I love because I’m too weak willed to just stay in, but, after 10 minutes of walking in the freezing fucking cold, I turn back and admit that tonight I am a big gay and need to be in the bus.

A McDonalds later I’m tucked up in my lounge clothes and thick socks in the kitchen with Adam and Joel my movie buddies and Lyall and Evile’s long time friend Alex, ready to watch Back to the future three! I’m well loving being a boy, usually fucking hate Back to the future, Die Hard and all those boy flick types but I am totally in to it now. Shit. Back to the future is a hell of a lot less confusing than the second one thank fuck. I mean, I watched all these when I was young but years of toxic self abuse means I cannot for the life of me remember any of them so it’s all fresh and new yet familiar at the same time!

Back to the future done, it’s upstairs as the bus pulls off to watch Planet Terror. I get so near the end but fall at the last hurdle and sleep, pack myself off to bed and dream of my day off in Manchester where I will get to see my big Bro and little niece and nephew, have some home cooked food and possibly even a bath.

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