Thursday, 24 June 2010

Evile Infecting Nations 2010 tour. Saarbrucken.

I get up before everyone today, what with my early, sober night last night. Everyone except Arie it turns out, who is outside scuffling around when I go out there to begin in earnest another unhealthy smoking day. I get all my shit together that I will need for the day and hang out with Steve 2 for a bit before hitting the laptop to get some writing down. Joel comes out and we venture in to the venue to have some quality toilet time in a toilet you can actually fully use, only to be greeted by a massive Doberman cross puppy. Its paws are fucking huge man!
Ana the puppy Doberman is the most adorable little dog to have confront you at a club ever. Awww bless her, she loved getting a fuss!

Once in the venue officially, I get soup and bread and shower and write to my family. You know, I’m fine, haven’t been gang raped by the bands, and am eating, am not on skag blah blah blah!
This venue is tiny, so we will be rammed tonight, and my merch stand is taking up half the sodding venue! Oh well! I am sharing my stand with a local band that go by the name of Godslave, by the time I have finished hanging everything, there really isn’t much room for them. Again, oh well! Their merch is rad, I’ll give them that, band fucking sucked balls though.
By the time doors open, I have had a beer but no time for dinner. Although I do get upstairs and get some to put in the dressing room for later. Adam, my fave from Warbringer, comes soon after I start and The Fading are on, to cover me so I can go eat and have a smoke. Yup, we are back in the land of no smoking in doors. Urgh. I have a cig’ with Laux and try and send some work related emails, but to no avail. Tis very frustrating not being able to get information to people who are waiting and relying on it. This tour has been a scary wake up call as to how dependent I am on the Internet. I can’t get any fucking emails sent, any photo’s uploaded or any blogs up. Fuck it, it can die.

I catch the last of The Fading, the crowd isn’t moving much but the merch sales are really impressive so who the fuck knows? This is supposed to be the Motherland or Fatherland or something right? What’s wrong with these people? It’s a really tough crowd. They are boring the shit out of me. Even Warbringer can’t get them going. No circle pit tonight. Warbringer does seem more popular for merch here. Evile is strong too on the ol’ merch sales so I chill a bit and go for a smoke when Adam comes back to rescue me. About 5 minutes after I’m back I unfold the bottom blank bit of my sales sheet and find that Adam has drawn a little character of me! Awwww bless him; see why he’s my fave? Very thoughtful man right there, of everyone around him.

The crowd tonight is boring the shit out of me; Laux tells me later that it was too packed and boiling hot for them to pit it. I don’t buy that although I do feel guilty for a bit. I have to say this, as gay as it is. I feel incredibly privileged and honoured to be on tour with these guys, to know that some of them will end up as long time friends and that I’m part of the team, when I see them up on stage. They are a very talented bunch of fuck ups and I am a lucky girl to be able to muck about with them everyday. Of course, they are lucky fucking bastards too, they got the mighty me! Physc!

Anyway, I digress. Where was I? Oh yeah. Tonight is shit boring the shit out of me. I guess the Germans are very reserved though? I don’t even fucking care at this point, I’m too tired to care. God, I am n such a wanky mood tonight! And, my spandex clad legs look like fat blubbery seals bickering over a streak of sun. I have got to stop eating as much while I’m not at home. I’m eating the same amounts but because I’m not doing any exercise, I’m piling on the pounds.

So finally the crowd are in to it, singing along, chanting etc. Another Metallica cover and we are done. I get packed up quick smart and go upstairs to finish my dinner and attempt to use the net again. No joy there, so I hang in Evile’s dressing room and piss about with Ol and Joel, pretending to exercise with Ol while Joel films the whole sorry mess. Did I mention that one of the things on Evile’s rider is a poster of the cast of Baywatch. Today we have the walls covered in pictures of David Hasslehoff in various poses and states of undress. There’s even a pic’ of him naked with two puppies strategically placed on his nether regions, which just makes him look like he’s practicing acts of bestiality. So we do some sit ups and that, and Ben shows me his hilarious stick men drawings that he does on his laptop when he’s bored, all good times!

Bus call forces me in to blog writing mode, up the front of the bus. Along with this, Lyall and me get the new European sales sheets for Evile and Warbringer done, currency changes and all. Who have I got here with me? We got Ol, and then Kevill joins Adam, then Laux, and then us. And the vodka is out. What convo’s did we get under our belts that night? Well, I bought some pretzels and found some dib dab sherbet bags that I got as a pressie for the cool crew. Although it should be noted that the illustrated kids on the front of these bags are well hot and not childlike at all? Go figure.

Ben comes and joins us and the gang of us cover semen piss? / Favourite films / thrash now compared to back then, i.e. Metallica, Slayer / the ‘put the lotion in the basket’ part in Silence of the lambs and finally Adam comes up with a great idea, tour wipes! We have got to get them made, for all your cleaning necessities! Other topics were covered but shall never be spoken of again, partly because I can only vaguely remember them and partly because they would get us in a lot of trouble and or be highly frowned upon!

Poltergeist is put on downstairs but I can’t be arsed, tis bunk time for me.

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